You is going through a moment of anguish, despair, pain. Is feeling the full weight of a curse that should be for other people and not for you to know, who has proven he knows the causes and consequences, he is convinced of what God can do. You do not see the exit. Think this has no solution and that only a "lottery" or something similar, you can remove the hook. You think everything has to happen to make you get all that money you can pay and still leave a plant to boot. He pauses to remember how many people will be, how many messes to be resolved, how much pain should be forgiven, is to unravel how skein before putting in the position of starting over. The thing is overwhelming. There is no logical solution.
Need a miracle! That is: only a miracle is the solution! Then a miracle associated with a lottery extremely difficult to conclude what it is. How unlikely it is that you precisely and accurately at the moment you get that miracle. All of the above is a product of reason, his mind, his carnal way of understanding the world, the universe, society, problems and solutions. You can follow this whirlwind for years, for decades if desired. Nobody will get out of there. You can decide to tell the story, as you see it with their natural eyes and with his words, continue to play his own death (because "life and death are in the power of the tongue"), continue to inspire compassion (all we love to inspire human compassion!), continue to let the enemy triumph over his life when he has no power to do so, or you can believe God! Or can return to LIVING WAY FORWARD BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT! (2 COR 5, 7).